Help, please!

So, at the gym Wednesday I was rocking out on the treadmill, listening to my music and occasionally reading the news (you know the headlines that run at the bottom of the screen) and something caught my eye. I wasn't sure that I caught it the first time, so I waited for it to cycle back through. And then read it again. "Former President George W. Bush admits that he has a problem with spelling, asks Dick Cheney to help him with his autobiography." I was cracking up! Here is where I need help. I have googled numerous combination of those words as well as searching several U.S. news sites- not a hint of this gem. Anyone heard anything about this anywhere other than b92? Thanks!

Hi, remember me?

In a desperate attempt to make up for my months-long silence, I am drafting the mother of all posts about my holiday adventures in Kansas, Mexico, and Baltimore/DC. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll wish you had been there. Oh yeah, and lots of adventures since then! That's right- Sass has had MORE stuff stolen from her luggage. Check back real soon for the gory details.

Let's play catch up, shall we? (A post that is light on photos)

It has been hectic since last I shared with you... visitors, travel, holidays, and many ups and downs. I am leaving for a a 10-day trip to Macedonia this evening, which I am looking forward to, but also exhausted just thinking about. But let's get caught up-

I have had a lot of visitors since the end of October. First my friend and colleague Kevin came from Belarus to help me with work and to enjoy some Balkan hospitality. He got to see several cities in Serbia, and we actually had some common time in Belgrade. He just happened to be here over Halloween and had made a joke about dressing up as Sarah Palin... at my insistence, he donned my red suit, we went split the cost of a wig, a little red lipstick, some black tights and pumps, and we had one hot woman on our hands. I would insert a photo here, but I lost my camera days later...so I am relying on Kevin's generosity and sense of humor to send me the one that he has. Unfortunately, he is also self-centered, and didn't take any photos of me in my Monica Lewinsky costume. We went to a party at the Canadian Embassy which was, well, a little lame, but the two of us managed to have a good time and make some new friends (again, no photos, more about that below).

Then I took off for a trip to Kosovo. I get there regularly, but this was the first time I visited anywhere other than Pristina. While I didn't see a lot of the city (work kept us pretty busy) I enjoyed the travel to and from tremendously. Prizren is in a mountainous area and the drive from Skopje and to Pristina were made via the scenic route. Woods, creeks, romantic views and (relatively) pristine nature. Oh, and tons and tons of KFOR military vehicles. We passed through several ethnic Serbian areas and mixed areas where the presence of the international peace-keeping force was HIGHLY VISABLE. While in Prizren, I left my camera at a restaurant, and when we went back to claim it, it was gone. My colleague suggested I offer a financial reward, but out of principle I refused. Maybe I should have offered a reward for the memory card with the invaluable Halloween pictures?

I returned to Belgrade for a couple of days (not quite enough time to do laundry in the colder months) and took off for Zagreb, Croatia. I had some work to do, and then Kevin met me for the weekend. While I still think Zagreb is on the quiet side, we had a lovely time hanging out with our mutual friend and colleague, Thomas:
Thomas and his amazing girlfriend, Katarina gave up their weekend to entertain us, for which I am very grateful. It was a treat to have such cool tour guides. I look forward to returning the favor and showing them around Belgrade in the near future.

Immediately after Zagreb, I went to Vranje, in southern Serbia for work. Sanja's brother's girlfriend's sister lives there, and invited us over for a bit of Serbian hospitality. Natasha is quite a character.. all I knew about her was that she teaches Religious Studies in an elementary school. She picked us up straight from work, and was wearing this:

See how her shirt says "sex, love, money"? Hilarious. When we pointed it out to her, she said that she never even noticed or thought about it. It had been a gift the week before. Who am I to say what is in good taste or not? I went as MONICA LEWINSKY for Halloween.

Back to Belgrade for a few days- including Thanksgiving. Liz, Elizabeth and I had a hard time making plans. I didn't feel up to cooking all day. We weren't sure that we wanted to shell out for/dress up for the fancy traditional dinner at the Hyatt hotel. So, we came up with a plan- Elizabeth and her man would pick up Kentucky Fried Chicken, and we would make the traditional sides. It was awesome.
From L-R: Liz, Jason, Johnny, Elizabeth, Dragan. Please notice that Elizabeth is rocking a "50 Cent" sweatshirt. Please also note the buckets of KFC. We made: stuffing, green bean cassarole, brownies, pumpkin fritters, creamed corn, and pumpkin pudding. Then we watched TEAM AMERICA. Did I mention it was awesome?

This weekend, my friend and colleague Alan has been in town. He was in the region helping out for work, and had never been to Serbia before. Liz and I have been showing him around. The weather has sucked- cold and windy with periodic rain, but we have had a great time. Lots of good food, walking around the city, some great rakija, more good food, and general silliness. I should have taken more advantage of my new camera.

We took Alan to the Nikola Tesla museum. I had never been, and had heard that it was cool. It has recently relocated to a lovely old house on one of the most beautiful streets in Belgrade. When we arrived, we were informed that the entrance price for foreigners is TWICE as much as locals. That immediately pissed me off. Then they told us that they were still renovating the space and only 40% of the museum was accessible. Awesome. In addition to our group there was a Serbian family waiting for the tour to start. The tour guide introduces himself and in Serbian says to the family that he has to speak English because of us, but that he will speak Serbian first. I *almost* pointed out the fact that we paid double and should therefor hear English first, but I bit my tongue. There were a few interesting models of some of his most famous inventions and some plans for fountain designs. His urn was very very cool, but I failed to photograph it (shocking, I know). Maybe I would go back and see what it looks like when 100% of the exhibits are open. We'll see.
But I will leave you with this very general warning. My ride to the airport will be here in 15 minutes and I am not wearing any pants... I promise that my Best of Belgrade post will be here soon!

The long-promised Prague post

About a month ago, I met some of my very good friends in Prague for a long weekend of sightseeing, catching up, and loads of silliness. We fought our way through throngs of tourists, went to the opera (I like Wagner's music, but The Flying Dutchman is not as colorful or lively a production as most of the operas I have seen), took a boat cruise, and generally enjoyed hanging out together.

I was the last person to arrive Friday evening (Rippe arrived several hours later than planned, but everyone made it all of their belongings). We met at our fabulous apartment (the name Riverview was accurate!) and hit the town. Melissa had studied abroad in Prague several years ago and we were hopeful that her memory would serve as a tour guide to the hot spots (and that they would still be hot).

We headed for a place Melissa remembered frequenting, Nebe. It was standing room only, good music, and interesting cocktails. We started with gin and tonics that were served with a cucumber spear. Not a lemon, or lime, as would be traditional but a cucumber spear. To me the smell of cucumber was stronger than the taste, but I found it, well, not as good as citrus.

Soon we discovered that Nebe had changed in the years since our girl was a student, and the newest trend was giant buckets o'cocktail. Your choice... gin and tonic (um, not with cucmbers thanks), Long Island iced tea, screwdriver, and some more exotic choices... of course we decided to try a bucket of Mojito.

No joke, right? And delicious. So we have a few. As in four. Five of us drink FOUR. Of these.

As you can imagine, we got a late start on Saturday. We headed straight for lunch, and opted for a casual Czech-cuisine place near our apartment. The food was so-so, the service was less than stellar, but the bill more than made up for it:
Let's review, shall we? The waiter, who spilled coke on 2 of the 3 Facklers, decided to emphasize the fact that his gratuity was not included. Bold, yes, but not unheard of. Look at the right half of the picture. Ostensibly to make things easier on us, he decided to break it down. He suggests 10% (in Europe, tipping is not viewed the same way as in the US, servers are generally paid wages that are in line with, you know, living a normal life- in many countries, patrons round the bill up a bit or leave change as a token of appreciation). So, I may not be a mathematical expert, but something looks off to me here:

1039.00 x 10%= 103 So far so good, but what do we do now?

1039.00+ 103= 1042 Really? So do you want 10%, or should we go along with your new math and give you the 1042?

After a lot of giggling, and photographing the gaffe, we left him the 10%. It was worth it.

That night, we went to this amazing vegetarian restaurant. It was hip and delicious and even thought the guys complained about the prospects of a meat-free meal, we all enjoyed it. Sunday, the Fackler clan headed out of Prague to visit a family friend, so Rippe and I were on our own. I made him go with me to get bagels. I was pretty excited, but Bohemia Bagel has nothing on Goldberg's. I had a bagel with lox, and a side of civic duty:

Democrats Abroad had organized a voter registration campaign (we actually encountered this group more than once). I was excited, but in the end they just pointed me to a computer... I thought they would at least mail the forms in, but no.

We also toured the Staropramen Brewery. It is a small place in town (for Pilsner Urquell we would have had to leave the city and give up most of a day). It was interesting, I had never toured a brewery before. Our tour guide had no sense of humor, and even less fashion sense. Apparently, compared to other breweries, the tour here was short and they were stingy with the samples (by all accounts the Boulevard tour is a winner). One thing they weren't short on? Rules.
If you have ideas about what some of these mean, please leave a comment. I am very curious...

I was totally impressed with the beauty of Prague, how well preserved the Old Town is, and how many tourists there were. Even on a Monday in September the streets were totally overrun with Americans, Europeans, Asians, all creeds and colors of tourists with big cameras, little cameras, cell phone cameras.... I would love to go again and to see more of the Czech Republic. Especially with good friends.

Phonetic Fun with Feces

Serbian is a Slavic language, more specifically a South Slavic language. It is a cousin of Russian and Ukrainian generally coming from the same mother language. Exciting, right?

Anyway, there are many words that these languages share. Sometimes the definitions are the same, sometimes they differ. And amusing example is the word "ponos". In Russian and Ukrainian, ponos is diarrhea. In Serbian (and other South Slavic languages), ponos = pride. Can you see where this is going? Russian and Ukrainian speakers visiting Yugoslavia were often amused by signs reading "Tito je nas ponos", which to a Serbian speaker reads "Tito is our pride". Now, to the tourist from the East, this of course read "Tito is our diarrhea". Hilarity often ensued.

Fast forward a couple of decades. I was recently in Kyiv with colleagues from Macedonia, Bosnia, and other countries in which I work (see previous post). They had never been to Ukraine before and found time to enjoy the delights that Kyiv has to offer even with our intensive training schedule. Once we decided to visit the supermarket near our hotel. We split up into groups and made our purchases (I was delighted to find instant oatmeal and my favorite Ukrainian beer, others were loading up on sweets and vodka). Some of us were waiting for others to exit the store and when they finally did they were crying and laughing and doing the pee-pee dance. In the store, they happened upon this:

Let me explain what you are looking at. The brand of this canned fish is "Proliv". Which just happens to mean diarrhea in Serbian, etc. In Ukrainian/Russian it means flood (which isn't that much more assuring in canned fish if you ask me). Even better? This particular product is called "Veliki" meaning "big uns". Doesn't that sound tasty? I wish I had known what a gem this was when I used to have a funny can display in my apartment in Odesa... including this and this.

An item that is only related tenuously... there is yet another festival in Serbia that would be fascinating to attend- the World Testicle Cooking Festival (say that five fast) held each May. Can't make it? No worries, you can just pick yourself up a copy of Cooking With Balls.

But Sass, when you are not in Serbia, where are you?

Good question, my friend. For the most part, when I am not in Serbia, I am somewhere else in Southeast Europe, like one of the places on this map. This is the region that I work in, but I do go to places other than the capitals, and once in a while make it to other parts of the world (more on this soon!).

From September to December, I will be on the road, to these places. A lot. This Saturday I am leaving for ten fun-filled days in Bosnia. And then I go to Vranje, in southern Serbia, and then Kosovo, and then Kosovo again, and then Macedonia, and then it will be the end of the year!

Look back soon for updates (and pictures) about Prague, poop, and my Best of Belgrade list!

Whew. Another one of those times when Sass has not been in Serbia much.

August was HECTIC. I spent a total of six days in Belgrade, and visited six different countries. I made my first trip (of what looks to be many) to Sofia, Bulgaria, I was a trainer at a conference in Kyiv, Ukraine. I passed through Skopje, Macedonia just long enough to visit my friend and colleague and to have a few meetings. I attended another conference in Herceg Novi, Montenegro. The conferences offered a rare opportunity for my colleagues from the region to come together. I have not laughed so hard so much in a long time. While I enjoyed most of it, it was exhausting.

September brings a little rest. This coming week I have one day trip to Sofia, and then I am taking a long weekend to meet friends in Prague. The Fackler clan, Jason R. and I are meeting there next Friday. I am excited to see the gang, to see Prague, and to have some personal work-free travel! I have also felt for some time that I am the ONLY American who has traveled to Europe and never been to Prague. I get to see what all the fuss is about.

Now I am trying to catch up with housework and personal stuff that has been neglected for a month- laundry, dusting, throwing away what were once (briefly) thriving herbs, a fall cleaning of sorts. I would start putting away the summer clothes, but the forecast for the weekend is in the nineties. Woohoo!